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Helping a Loved one

Helping a Loved one

Word can either make or break us, the way we use our tongue sometimes has caused a lot of people great deal of harm yet we still doesn’t get it. Being overweight is hard enough then compared with being constantly reminded of how big and out of place you look. I don’t think that is nice and no one should go through life feeling like that.

A lot of people both guys and girls are in a relationship where they are constantly reminded of how fat,lazy and useless they are, the society is soo harsh but the people we believe love us sometimes
do truly put us down. Maybe they think they are helping us change when in reality they are causing more harm.

Some of ladies doesn’t want to hear our partner or someone we love say the word “you are fat”, well the truth is we just can’t imagine hearing that. When I started my relationship, he never said anything about my weight, I loved me then but I always told myself that the day he opens his mouth to say “you need to lose some weight” that will be the end of that relationship. Most times its not about telling us the truth but how it is said. Most people who re overweight knows it will be best to lose some weight because of health and well being but for some people, excess weight serves as a shield, one that they aren’t quite ready to shed.

According to certified health coach Holly Stokes, “Weight can be a way of hiding who we really are from others so they don’t reject us or get too close, and often, it’s a way of insulating yourself from a partner’s criticism.”

So instead of coming off as critical, try a more positive approach. If you decide to tell someone they need to diet; there are tactful ways to take this step. Instead of outwardly saying ‘you need to lose weight,’ you could say ‘I love you just the way you are and I want you around for a long time for me or the kids, so you might want to eat in a healthier way.’ Don’t go all insulting or making them feel bad. If you don’t go about it the right way, it could have severe repercussions. The recipient would be mortified that someone noticed they were overweight and the relationship would never ever be the same. That’s when people go into the closet and become secret eaters.

So how do you help a loved one get into shape
1.Instead of finding faults in what he/she is doing, encourage and cheer them up to do the right thing. Appreciate them when they reach a set goal or when they try out new ways of changing their habit. Help them in setting smaller goals and in cases where goals are not met, don’t emphasize on that. Keep them moving

2. Get involved with them: try eating healthy with them, if they are trying out new diet, join them. maybe not all the way but be positive with them. If you can afford 2 gym membership, then join them in getting active. Go for outing, ride bikes together, jog, etc. It is important you actively support them too.

3. Celebrate their goals when it is met, but not with food maybe by going shopping, going to the spa, buying new workout outfit or a gadget, something that can encourage them to do more. Most importantly show them you love them irrespective of their size.

4.Weight loss comes with bad days, when they are having one of these day please don’t judge them. If the person is an emotional eater and turns to food when in bad mood, get them to turn to you, listen to them help bring them up.

5.Protect them from friends who might want to bring them down or discourage them. Be there for them always, call, email and text them daily letting them know they can count on you and that they can do it.

6.Learn about living a healthy lifestyle and make those changes with him/her. read up articles, carry out research.

Avoid: 

  • Tempting them
  • Policing what they eat
  • Being harsh or using judgmental language
  • Over doing things

 

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